On being a female backpacker
We have met several people so far that have been doing the same thing we are doing- some for less time, most for more time. The interesting thing is that almost all of them have been male.
Why is that? What makes this lifestyle more appealing to guys?
Well, put simply, being a female backpacker kinda sucks. It's harder for us to keep clean and healthy, we have to bring more stuff, and there are more things we feel we should bring even though we might not need them. We are less able to carry heavy things for long periods of time because we, in general, have less upper body strength. We plan and prepare for things more diligently and end up bringing more. And we end up sharing stuff with guys around who didn't plan as well or bring as much because they knew we would.
These are all big generalizations, of course, but they are all true according to my direct observations. I have been staying in hostels with girls but 90% of them have huge suitcases and make up and clothes spread out everywhere. They take forever to get ready because they straighten their hair and put on make up every day. They may be traveling but they are NOT backpacking.
I have needed to change my thinking a little. I can't look in store windows or walk through shops. I can't really look at other women and think about what they're wearing and how it's cute or whatever. I can't think about my hair or if I look pretty. I don't. I haven't looked pretty in 2 weeks and I'm ok with that! I just don't like to think about looking pretty or other girls looking pretty. Because then I get sad and feel gross.
I don't want to get TOO personal here so I'll just leave it at this- being a girl backpacker is a challenge, but I think I'm doing pretty well so far. I still have some obstacles to face but I think I'll be ok.
On language
Being from the US, or any English-speaking country, puts you in an odd position when traveling. You can communicate with pretty much everyone, at least on a basic level, in our language. However, the US does a crappy job of including other languages in school, starting us waaaaay too late and definitely not requiring enough time with the language or enough of a variety of languages.
So everyone around you who isn't speaking directly to you is speaking a language you don't know. And it seems like they know you don't know it simply because they know you're American. And it just kinda always feels like they're talking about you.
I always tell myself that they are saying nice things- that the cute boys across the train are talking about how beautiful I am. But then I remember what I look like and that I probably smell and snap back to reality- they're probably saying something that has nothing to do with me at all, or they can smell me.
On pigeons
Every city, every street, every park, every restaurant.
I'm calling it now. One day the only wild animals on the planet will be bugs, jellyfish, and pigeons.
General feelings
I am so glad I'm doing this but I am so so so looking forward to coming home and looking back on it from a distance. As I've said many times, it gets easier every day but I still miss home a lot. Mostly you guys, my friends and family, who I wish were here with me or I could just take a break from this for a day and come see you before I continue.
We're now on day 16 of 60. I find myself really just counting the days until I get back, wishing I was home, or thinking ahead to the next day. I'm still not very good at just living in the moment and only thinking about what I'm doing right now. I think it's partially because I'm never really 100% comfortable here, but I also think its just my personality. I've always been proactive and a planner. Certain things I have really soaked in, but some things I'm just getting through.
My mood these last two days in Amsterdam has not been good and I have no idea why. I really like this city (see separate post coming next) but I'm just tired and kinda down. I think I partially just need some alone time and partially maybe am getting too much sleep? We have been sleeping in for the first time these last 2 days because we couldn't the last 2 weeks.
I don't know. Whatever it is, it's not good. I hope to snap out of it tomorrow- a travel day- after I recharge.
I guess that's all for now. More later.
<3
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